The Proper Blog

It’s that time of year again.

The last week of January.

When you know it’s coming.  And.  Yet.  Somehow.  You are not ready.

That’s right.  Valentines day.

The guys out there are probably thinking…

What’s the best way to prepare for valentines day?

The answer is, like Jeremy Renner says in Hurt Locker,

“The way you don’t die, sir.” (click for clip)

Yeah, so, good luck with that.

As for you ladies, wondering what to get your boyfriend for Valentines day.  Here’s a slightly more actionable suggestion.

Call it what you like – “The Gift that Fits”, “The Custom Dress Shirt Startup Kit with Gift Box”, or “Your Valentines Day Solution”.  Regardless, it comes with a range of fabric samples, measuring tape, and a gift card in the amount of your choosing.

This gift gives the two of you everything you need to create the perfect dress shirt for him.  Get a sense for what fabrics he likes (the ones you like), take his body measurements and you are good to go.  He’ll be looking sharp and you’ll be girlfriend of the year.

Order your gift box now (free with gift certificate over $100).

Last Thursday, I found myself at the Hudson Terrace on West 46th and 12th.

When you know you need a drink, but can’t stand the claustrophobic feeling of an underground pub, this is a good place to go.  You can hang out at the bar or get your own bottle/table – it’s laid out so that both options work nicely.  This is one of just a few nice roof top lounges in Manhattan that I’m aware of (btw – why aren’t there lounges on every rooftop?).  Drinks weren’t cheap, but you don’t expect them to be.  I got there around sunset and only expected to stay a few hours, but somehow the party lasted till 2 in the morning… funny how Jameson shots, Ketel One, and attractive women make that happen.   Had a great time.  Polite conversation became dancing on tables and strangers became couples friends.

Go there and stay proper.

On a whim, I picked up the book Heat by Bill Buford.  And then I read it twice.  If you like cooking or personalities, you’ll like this book.  It’s full of detailed descriptions of fancy food and the colorful characters that prepare it.

Part of the book covers Mario Batali and his famous Manhattan restaurant Babbo.  Buford gives a behind-the-scenes look at Battali’s flamboyant drink-all-night personality and how his restaurants are run.  The second half of the book covers Buford’s experience working under Dario Cecchini, a famous Tuscan butcher (in Italy).

What I love about this story is that Buford, who had a respectable job as the fiction editor for The New Yorker, quit his job to join Babbo’s kitchen and work his way up from the bottom.  And the bottom was not comfortable.  Working 14 hour plus days sweating in a hot kitchen, slicing his fingers regularly, burning his hands and arms regularly, getting yelled at regularly…  The kitchen of a high end restaurant does not sound like a particularly fun place to be.

It’s common advice that you should do what you love with your life and that it’s never too late to change careers.  Unfortunately, most people don’t take this seriously and end up in jobs that merely pay the bills.  Buford is an inspiration and example of figuring out where you want your life to go and then doing whatever it takes to get there.  We should all follow his example.

Stay Proper.

Had the chance to check out GoldBar on Broome Street last night.

First, from a designer standpoint, the venue is pure ostentatious excess.  The walls are covered in gold painted skulls, the ceiling has huge chandeliers and the tables are made to look like giant gold bracelets.  There are also these spooky looking paintings on the walls – what you’d expect to see in a castle, but with a modern twist to them.  All in all, I really liked the design of this place.  Someone had an innovative vision and executed it nicely.

The main room is a good size.  Not too big.  A bit intimate.  The music was the same hiphop/house mix you’d get in any lounge and the volume was right.  Bit of dancing, bit of conversation.

The crowd was nice.  A mix of euro-trash (and I mean that in the nicest way), young professionals and pretty girls.  Everyone seemed friendly and in the mood for celebrating, although this impression is likely the result of our own enthusiasm mixed with lots of redbull and vodka.  I think everyone in the main room was getting bottle service.  There’s a bar area in the front as well.

Definitely calling this a proper spot.  Go there.

Stay Proper.

I’ve always been pretty quick to join online social networks.  Back in 2003, I had the custom styled MySpace page with my carefully selected “Top 8 Friends”, a music player that played either 50 Cent “In Da Club” or Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and dozens of photos: mostly drunk at a club, half naked at the beach, or the classic self portrait cell-phone shot into the bathroom mirror.  Hours went into browsing pages of the opposite sex, writing comments and friend requesting.   It was better than TV.

But not everyone felt the same way.  Maybe they were intimidated by the technology.  Maybe they “didn’t get it”. Maybe they were afraid of “identity theft” or had “privacy concerns”.  Maybe they had jobs that wouldn’t let them waste several hours per day goofing off.  Or maybe they realized it was just a huge meat-market of people trying to get laid and they didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

But recently, something about Facebook has made social networking practically unavoidable and even the reluctant have been creating accounts.  So for those of you relatively new to this thing called the “internet”, this is what you need to know.

Photos Will Appear

Extremely embarrassing photos of you WILL be uploaded.  They could be from high school.  They could be from undergrad.  You might be doing a keg stand.  You might be sporting a mullet.  You might even be dancing in a speedo.  These photos will be tagged with your name and associated with your profile.  Everything you thought was forgotten past will be available for your friends to comment on.

Old Friends Will Appear

Eventually you will be connected to all your ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends.  Really: ALL of them – from middle school to last week.  One of you will be feeling confident and curious and a “friend request” will be made.  Most likely you or they will accept said request (to avoid seeming rude or jealous or not over each other or whatever).  Once this connection is made, you’ll get to see all of each others embarrassing photos and ex-relationships.  You’ll know when they’re “Single” or “In a Relationship” or the totally ambiguous “It’s Complicated”.

New Friends Will Appear

It may start out just you and your old fraternity buddies, but soon enough you’ll get other so-called “friends”.   Like your boss.  Or your mom.  Or somebody that you don’t even recognize but is friends with 25 0f your other friends and you think you have a rough idea of who they are.

What Are You Doing Now?

Introducing the Facebook “status”.  You can write what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, or whatever you want and it is broadcast to all your friends.  A lot of people find this strangely addictive.  It’s like a little soap-box where you can let people know what you’re doing at the moment, share an interesting news article or vent to the world about your latest problems.  Be careful with status updates like: “Seph is tired of dealing with a room full of idiots”, or “Seph is extremely hungover from too much Jagermeister last night”.  Unless of course you revel in embarrassing yourself and offending others like we do.

Don’t Panic

If your anxiety levels are rising – take a deep breath.  None of this is as bad as it sounds – for one simple reason:  It’s happening to everyone.  If you’re worried your boss will find that picture of you making out with a blow-up doll you can relax.  First of all, he probably has more to hide than you.  Second of all, he doesn’t have time (or care) to browse back to page 13 of your photos.  Note that if you censor every photo/comment on your page, you’ll probably only create more suspicion about what you’re hiding.  So, our advice – just be yourself.

We’re Going With It

Proper Cloth has always been about technology so, for better or worse, we’re embracing this social phenomenon.  Today, we’re excited to be announcing further integration , when you design a custom dress shirt and add it to the Shirt Gallery, you can post comments on it for others to see.  Other shoppers and custom shirt designers can also post comments, and (if you choose) this will all be connected with your Facebook profile.  Check it out.  And while you’re at it, become a fan of Proper Cloth and leave us a note on our wall

Stay Proper.

Having trouble dating?  Dr. Alex Benzer breaks it down with the top reasons why “smart people” can’t maintain committed relationships.

1. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up.
2. Smart people feel that they’re entitled to love because of their achievements.
3. You don’t feel like a fully-realized sexual being, and therefore don’t act like one.
4. You’re exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.
5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet’s inhabitants as a dating prospect

Read the whole article here, but also consider our theory that smart people are just enlightened to the benefits of staying single.

Stay Proper.

I’ve kind of stopped paying attention to the news lately – been getting a little depressing.

However, I couldn’t help but overhear that last week, something like 70,000 125,000 people were laid off.  This whole financial crisis thing used to just be New York’s problem, but now it seems that ANYONE is a potential victim.  With several friends and former classmates currently “inbetween jobs”, I thought I might try to help with a list:

1.) Really (really) recognize that you HATED your job anyways

You were not happy there.  Your boss was an asshole.  You wanted to punch a koala.

You were stressed out all the time.  You never had time to date.  You never had time to exercise.  You despised flight AA4749 from JFK to Washington DC every f***ing Monday.  You were not passionate about what you were doing.  Actually half the time, you weren’t really doing anything.  An overpaid, under appreciated memo-writer.  That’s what you were. And now you’re free.

2.) Don’t stress out trying to find new work overnight

If you’ve ever been to Pamplona in July, you know that panic and stress can be contagious.  Similarly, massive layoffs and CNBC encourage panic.   Don’t fall into this trap.  It is pointless.  Keep your composure.  Becoming desperate will ruin your quality of life, and your chances of getting hired. Most companies are not hiring now anyways (they’re firing).  So, don’t get all pissed off if your buddy across the street can’t find a place for you tomorrow.  Unemployment is a marathon, so pace yourself.  You’ve got a severance package, ride it.

3.) Exercise

There is absolutely no excuse not to be in tip-top-ab-ripping-bench-press-250-lbs-and-run-10-miles shape now.  You have the time.  You have the flexibility, so work it into your week.  You’ll look better and feel better.  Exercise  brings mental clarity.  Enjoy it.

4.) Keep a schedule and stay busy

When you were still working at your dead-end job your days were scheduled for you.  Be in the office by 9:00, meeting at 10:00, meeting wrap-up at 11:00, conference call at 12:30, pitch review at 4:00… And of course there were endless emails to respond to all day long to fill in the gaps.  Now that is all gone, and you have to schedule your own day.  Do not fall into the habit of sleeping in till 11:00, watching television for an hour, sending your resume to a recruiter, checking your email (nothing), updating your facebook status (bored), checking your email again (nothing still), watching some more TV… According to Seth Godin, the opposite of happiness is boredom.  Avoid it by planning your days in advance.  Join a sports league, travel, go to the museum, network with friends, go on dates.  You have free time.  Don’t waste it.

5.) Find your passion

Since you know you hated your last job so much, why the hell are you applying for another one just like it?  The only way to find your passion is to get off of your couch and try something new.  Take a cooking class, volunteer for a youth group, run for city office, try improv, become a photographer, promote for a night club, start a blog about the price of oil, or even work for a really cool startup that sells custom clothing online.

The holidays are over.  All that stressful gift buying is over. Thank God.

Or so you thought.  On your toes because Valentines day is just around the corner.  (By the way, not to sound cold hearted or anything, but if the holidays were a total train wreck you can save yourself a whole lot of trouble and GET OUT NOW!)  If that’s not the case, well the first thing to keep in mind when buying gifts for your “significant other” is that girls and guys like different things.  Exhibit A:

What to buy your girlfriend for Valentines Day

Assuming you didn’t royally screw things up on Christmas there’s no need to come home from work (if you work on Saturdays) with a florentine necklace.  Valentines day is about being thoughtful.  The thing is, the thinking needs to start ahead of time (like now).  So, to make the day special for her, we suggest some combination of the following: Dinner, Flowers and Chocolate.

Dinner

Either reserve a table for two at a nice restaurant around town (if you don’t do this NOW, more thoughtful men will get the good tables and you will probably find yourself all dressed up in an empty restaurant at 6:00 pm feeling like a total moron) or plan to prepare her a nice meal at home.  Dinner at home has several advantages.  Negotiate who will prepare the meal in advance.  We suggest offering to cook dinner for her.  Then, when she INSISTS on cooking you can kindly give her the opportunity.

Flowers

Flowers are easy to buy, they look nice, they smell good and they have this tendency to make women very happy.  It’s a nice touch to send them to her at work, but since Valentines day this year is Saturday that probably won’t make sense.  So, surprise her at home with a bouquet.  Doesn’t have to be a huge bouquet – it is the thought that counts.

Chocolate

Every girl likes loves candy and a nice box of chocolate will keep her happy for a week straight.  Unless she eats it all in one night.  If that happens, we suggest mild concern.

What to buy your boyfriend for Valentines Day

He bought you all those nice things for Christmas and you know he’s going to pull out the stops for Valentines day.  You don’t want to show up empty handed.  We suggest one of three things: a new rolex watch, a thoughtful scrapbook, or a beautiful, custom tailored dress shirt.

Rolex

You just can’t go wrong with a Rolex.  It is a beautiful and functional gift.  That being said, it might not be appropriate for EVERY boyfriend.  We suggest this gift only if you’ve been together more than 10 years and are so wealthy that you were personally concerned with the Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme.

Thoughtful Scrapbook

Nothing says, “I am so in love with you and want us to be together forever” like a scrap book full of pictures of the two of you smiling and kissing each other.  Now, the truth is most guys don’t really want scrapbooks.  The actual scrap book is really for you, but the thought is nice and will always be appreciated.

Beautiful Custom Dress Shirt

In case you did the whole scrap book thing for Christmas already or you just know it would be completely out of character, we (of course) advocate the custom tailored dress shirt as the perfect Valentines day gift.  At Proper Cloth you can design a shirt with a completely unique style.  We’d suggest a pink shirt with a red accent fabric behind the French Cuffs.  Proper Cloth shirts are extremely high quality and will last him for years.  Furthermore, every time he wears it he will think of you and remember Valentines 2009 (what more can you ask for?).  Copy one of his shirts to get a perfect fit if you want to really impress.

Custom shirts aren’t made over night, so you’ll need to order this in advance.  Order by January 20th and you’ll have no problems.  After that and you might want to call in to check and see how busy things are or make a personal plea for a rush.  We’ll do our best to get it to you in time.

Stay Proper.