Welcome to Facebook
Posted in Life on March 18th, 2009 by Seph
I’ve always been pretty quick to join online social networks. Back in 2003, I had the custom styled MySpace page with my carefully selected “Top 8 Friends”, a music player that played either 50 Cent “In Da Club” or Britney Spears “Hit Me Baby One More Time” and dozens of photos: mostly drunk at a club, half naked at the beach, or the classic self portrait cell-phone shot into the bathroom mirror. Hours went into browsing pages of the opposite sex, writing comments and friend requesting. It was better than TV.
But not everyone felt the same way. Maybe they were intimidated by the technology. Maybe they “didn’t get it”. Maybe they were afraid of “identity theft” or had “privacy concerns”. Maybe they had jobs that wouldn’t let them waste several hours per day goofing off. Or maybe they realized it was just a huge meat-market of people trying to get laid and they didn’t want to have anything to do with it.
But recently, something about Facebook has made social networking practically unavoidable and even the reluctant have been creating accounts. So for those of you relatively new to this thing called the “internet”, this is what you need to know.
Photos Will Appear
Extremely embarrassing photos of you WILL be uploaded. They could be from high school. They could be from undergrad. You might be doing a keg stand. You might be sporting a mullet. You might even be dancing in a speedo. These photos will be tagged with your name and associated with your profile. Everything you thought was forgotten past will be available for your friends to comment on.
Old Friends Will Appear
Eventually you will be connected to all your ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. Really: ALL of them – from middle school to last week. One of you will be feeling confident and curious and a “friend request” will be made. Most likely you or they will accept said request (to avoid seeming rude or jealous or not over each other or whatever). Once this connection is made, you’ll get to see all of each others embarrassing photos and ex-relationships. You’ll know when they’re “Single” or “In a Relationship” or the totally ambiguous “It’s Complicated”.
New Friends Will Appear
It may start out just you and your old fraternity buddies, but soon enough you’ll get other so-called “friends”. Like your boss. Or your mom. Or somebody that you don’t even recognize but is friends with 25 0f your other friends and you think you have a rough idea of who they are.
What Are You Doing Now?
Introducing the Facebook “status”. You can write what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, or whatever you want and it is broadcast to all your friends. A lot of people find this strangely addictive. It’s like a little soap-box where you can let people know what you’re doing at the moment, share an interesting news article or vent to the world about your latest problems. Be careful with status updates like: “Seph is tired of dealing with a room full of idiots”, or “Seph is extremely hungover from too much Jagermeister last night”. Unless of course you revel in embarrassing yourself and offending others like we do.
Don’t Panic
If your anxiety levels are rising – take a deep breath. None of this is as bad as it sounds – for one simple reason: It’s happening to everyone. If you’re worried your boss will find that picture of you making out with a blow-up doll you can relax. First of all, he probably has more to hide than you. Second of all, he doesn’t have time (or care) to browse back to page 13 of your photos. Note that if you censor every photo/comment on your page, you’ll probably only create more suspicion about what you’re hiding. So, our advice – just be yourself.
We’re Going With It
Proper Cloth has always been about technology so, for better or worse, we’re embracing this social phenomenon. Today, we’re excited to be announcing further integration , when you design a custom dress shirt and add it to the Shirt Gallery, you can post comments on it for others to see. Other shoppers and custom shirt designers can also post comments, and (if you choose) this will all be connected with your Facebook profile. Check it out. And while you’re at it, become a fan of Proper Cloth and leave us a note on our wall 
Stay Proper.
